"auntie ah, gimme one bunch!"

before i sleep i shall... talk about bananas. yet again. weee.


chibaboom

people do not understand the fact that bananas are bombs. once essploded, it will disperse into countless more bananas and then.. you guessed it, major essploderations. fricking awesome.

how to utilise your kimjio:

1) stick one up your gay poly friend's ass.

2) feed some monkeys. plenty of them in planet ntu.

3) peel it, leave the skin on the floor and hope that some idiot actually falls over it. if not, why
don't you? it'd be fun.

4) sometimes your friend just talks too much... deep throat him/her!! woo that was violent.
i rock ratshit.

5) when a s*ag comes around and tries to signiorita with you, clobber him with the banana like
there's no tomorrow and claim it was the devil that did it. he will forgive you. he'll even say a
prayer for you.

inadvertently i realised it's just a week to my first paper. yay.

knoddy ちゃん

hi five undergrads!

introducing the latest entry to the list of vulgarities here at maisngsiao: m*gging.

come this time of the year it's in to be seen m*gging, be it the library, benches, smelly canteens, or fast food chains with tables so small my kipling pencil box occupies half of it. exam stress? can't cope with your work? bullshit.

it'd come to my noble attention that undergrads are lying assholes. before i elaborate, let's take a look at an example:

*conversation between knoddy and a random undergrad. for convenience sake, let's just call him fuckface.*

"eh desmond.... how?!?! stress lei.. think i'm gonna fail my xxxx. it's so tough! i'm so gonna fail trust me."

"sure anot fuckface. i see you chao pia everyday in the library since the first week of school and you still think you're gonna fail? take it easy la"

"nonono i'm serious! i totally can't grasp the concept... xxxxxxxxxxx." whateverrr.

*after the release of results*

"eh fuckface so how, did you fail your xxxx as promised?"

"no! lucky sia i passed... phew!"

"awesome... so you got d la."

"errrrrrrrrr............ actually... i got b la.. hehe!"

knnbccb

as you can see, i'm pretty disturbed by this kinda behaviour. people come to me and bitch about some subject they're gonna fail and yet do so well in the end. wtf is wrong with them? they m*g like fuck, do all their tutorials before hand and still wanna fucking complain just for the sake of it, to gain empathy and for their sickening self-gratification.

in reality mr fuckface may be damn worried about failing a particular module but sub-fucking-consiously, he's actually aiming for an a grade. therefore he panicks when he stumbles upon some lame ass concept that got him buffled and may prevent him from achieving nirvana.

"oh no i don't understand this small portion. there goes my distinction!"

which leads me to the conclusion that... people actually aim to do well in university!

*enter damn shocking music*

whatever happened to 'just do well enough to proceed to next stage' mentality and all play no work attitude of jc and sec school?! no more! come university, the whole world has to m*g just because everyone's doing it.... fuck gimme back my jc days anytime man.

acherly other than this culture shock, i have nothing against people who aim high. go ahead get your first class honours, i don't give a flying fish. but if you aim high and behave like mr fuckface, go see a shrink. you are sick in the head.

in all seriousness, there is absolutely no need to m*g as an undergrad. no doubt the workload is slightly heavier and concepts may be difficult to grasp, but with relatively consistent work, one will definitely do well enough to pass. and if you wanna get distinction, well don't ask me... consult your m*ugger friend.

man i'm so fucking slack and lovin' it. i can't stand myself sometimes though, but that's only sometimes.

off to m*g loh!

knoddy ちゃん

three years later

"i've waited hours for this
i've made myself so sick i wish i'd stayed asleep today
i never thought that this day would end
i never thought that tonight could ever be
this close to me

just try to see in the dark
just try to make it work
to feel the fear before you're here
i make the shapes come much too close
i pull my eyes out
hold my breath
and wait until i shake

but if i had your faith
then i could make it safe and clean
if only i was sure
that my head on the door was a dream

i've waited hours for this
i've made myself so sick
i wish i'd stayed asleep today
i never thought that this day would end
i never thought that tonight could ever be
this close to me

but if i had your face i could make it safe and clean
if only i was sure
that my hand in the door
was a dream"

i used to listen to alot of get up kids and such in my earlier army days. me, dick-head cong and this weirdo who slept next to me called timothy would just cosy up, listen to emo, indie, plain sunset and heck even boredphucks. more often than not i would just piss the two of them off with my renditions of boyband shit but that's not the point. its sweet how music can bring people together. people of very different backgrounds. people of very different characters. frickin' awesome.

knn, dick-head cong and myself even penned a song when we were in australia for training. "heart-tan in rockhampton"... jeezus we were crazy emo losers. the lyrics are still in his notebook if it's still around, go look for it bitch.

"when the sun rises again, i'll be there with you my friend. will you be there for me too?"

knoddy ちゃん

knoddy's world

tamade it's that time of the sem again so i might not have much time to post as frequently. sian la! anyway managed to bring my camera back home and took a few shots at my fucking nice room.



"with great power comes great responsibility..." fricking awesome right? bought it in matland, 15 ringgit or something. cheap shit.



more than meets the eye or robots in disguise? good question. i bought the optimus first and waited for like close to half a year before there was stock for megatron. bad guys are more kick ass unnerstand.



acherly 11 is not my favourite number. it's 9... but i just gotta get that number for my jerseys. yes i'm a pantang kia, which reminds me... i'm not gonna get the number for this year's ih hockey. knn.



bling bling! some of the medals and cups i've won since primary school, mostly from hockey and running. wow look at the number of silver medals there! i really enjoy being second best don't i? the tonberry in front was bought in japan... and wtf is oscar the grouch doing on the cup?!



a very meagre koleksen of transformers and gundam toys i have. these are the remaining surviving ones still in relatively good condition. i used to have alot more rare transformers toys (which could have been very valuable now) when i was young... but of course i did not take care of them and misplaced most along the way. so what's the moral of the story? kids don't know what's good for them.

on a side note, i found this picture scanned and stored in my pictures folder...


..haha my jc girls 6-aside team. i thought this picture is kinda nice, so why not post it up! marilyn and ada, get your asses back asap.

alrighty not alot of pictures but will do for now. i don't really have a habit of taking my camera and go snapping away at my surroundings anyway.

knoddy ちゃん

maisngsiao lesson no. 2

*typical scenario in lectures*

knoddy and vietkong sits and awaits the next lecture, when suddenly something walks past... thus triggering off knoddy's foul mouth.

"wah fuck sia! that ugly girl just wheezed past me! fuck!"

"the pink one ah? haha.. damn fat somemore"

"yah la fuck! lucky the lecture hasn't started or else she's so fat, that when she walks past me i'll fricking miss the whole lecture!"

"haha.. jio the pig face. fucking disgusting."

"nahbeh i can't stand fat people man."

"it's a sin to be fat la."

"haha yah man!!"

"oh man.. here comes your poly friend! hahaha!!"

*in unison...*

"aiyah fuck poly guys la!!"

evil laugh.

moral of the story? there is no place in this world for fat and ugly people... oh and if you're a poly guy, go smear some shit on your face. you'll look more yandao trust me.

knoddy

words i might have ate

"now it seems i can't keep my mind off you, my brain drifts back to better days we've been through. like sitting on blacktop of the school grounds, the love i bitched about i finally found. but now it's gone and i take the blame, so there's nothing i can do but take the pain... why?"

nothing like a good, loud, almost-puked-dinner-out burp.

knoddy ちゃん

the adventures of knodpoleon

this is a story about knodpoleon and his eggciting emprise.

(insert super duper dramatic music...)

long time ago, there lived a pair of good friends: knodpoleon and genghis hui. don't ask me how how a fucking angmoh got to know a mongolian. shit just happens. ok anyway yah... knodpoleon and genghis.. they braved through sleepless nights as top 2 leaders of their army in the midst of a raging war against a very dark side.


knodpoleon(left) and genghis hui

alas! one day genghis returned with a bad news. his one and only beloved wife had been abducted by enemy espionage troops! "nin nao hgia! how dare they do that!" knodpoleon exclaimed and proceeded to kick a nearby dustbin. genghis was in total panick and at that point of time, knodpoleon knew what he had to do... "neh'mine! i go hepchu rescue ur wife. you shall stay here and lead our men to viktory!" and thus setting off to a long and arduous journey...

(insert many random fighting and kung pow shit along the way)

... the voyage seemed never ending and the fighting toiled on him, but knodpoleon never gave up. he understood the feeling of losing someone he loved and everytime he wanted to turn back, this thought kept him going: aiyah cannot la! go back will kena chop head one lei if i don't bring her back!

hours, days, months he travelled. sometimes he walked, sometimes he ran and then sometimes he flew. on a certain day, knodpoleon encountered two of the fiercest enemies ever in his journey. one glance and he could make out who they were.... jedi arseholes! very swiftly, they surrounded knodpoleon. he knew he could not win them in a weapon fight. he had to come up with something soon. real soon...


hideous jedi arseholes in an attempt to put an end to handsome knodpoleon's quest

... just when he was at his wits end, something struck knodpoleon: the only way to defeat the jedis was to summon the archangels!! with the ps2 controller he brought along, knodpoleon frantically punched the combination of buttons that he vaguely could remember and bingo! a summon list scrolled down from the nearby tree. scanning through the list meticulously, he realised all the archangels were away for canteen break! however a few other angels were available for summon. "aiyah no fish prawn also can la!" and thus ananchel (the angel of grace) was summoned.

(insert hallelujah jingle)


knodpoleon was shocked to see ananchel appearing right next to him

"fwah! no warning one ah?! almost gave me heart attack lei!"

"aiyah... i level 2 angel only lei, you expect me to fly down like how you see in the frickin' movies meh. anyway i see you are having trouble with this two roaches. need some help?"

"duh!!! abuthen! summon you of course need help la. quick grant me temporary invincibility to beat the shit outta them."

"okok mai gan cheong, during summonings the enemies are freezed donch you know? i can only transform your limbs into temporary god mode since i'm still 'level 2' so you gotta protect your body. alright i'm gonna need some concentration here as i perform this ritual. any lapse of it or interference might cause serious injuries to you!"

"whateverrrrrr!"

indeed... after the the complex liturgy, knodpoleon could feel a significant increase in strength and power, especially in his arms and legs. following the end of the rite, the enemies charged towards him and this time round, knodpoleon was confident. he knew that now he had the upper hand, literally.


"screw you!"

...and so the jedis were annihilated.

just when he thought the worst was over, along came xena: the lengendary erm... female version of hercules! she looked angry, with a tinge of vengence and yet sometimes broke into a smile... shenjingbing. however as far as knodpoleon knew, she was from a neutral alliance. there was no way she would find out about the abduction, let alone get into his way. exasperated, he tried to avoid a conflict...

"eh whatchu wanna?"

"were you making a din just now?! i was sleeping and then heard some chants! fricking noisy!"

even before he could answer....


... xena plunged her mongster sword into knodpoleon!

incidentally, the sword ended up on his arm, which still possessed the temporary god mode.

"haha that was ticklish. solli la just now disturb you. i was having a fight you see."

"alright then.. now shoo!"

the ditzy and embarrassed xena went back to her sleep, wondering why her sword did not penetrate that chao angmoh...

............ blah

finally! knodpoleon had reached the realms of the dark side... where genghis's wife was held captive. it was an ominous place. it was a place where the sun never shines. it was fricking scary. as he wandered aimlessly in the castle, suddenly...


...there is ghost.

swallowing hard, he pressed on and then... viola! knodpoleon discovered genghis' wife tied up and unattended in the kitchen. wasting no time, he untied her and was relieved to see that she's still alive. both of them sneaked out of the castle and away from the enemy guards.

"heng ah i found you at last!"

"what took you so long ah?!"

"........"

and so, they made their way back home... a home which they call their own. genghis was exhilarated. his beloved one was saved! emotions ran high, tears flowed... and once in a while urine too.


don't we all love happy endings? ^__^

but how could we forget about knodpoleon? he the great one who went the extra mile for his friend...


... of course he got lucky too!

now how totally kick ass is that!!!


disclaimer: the characters depicted in this story is entirely fictional and any remsemblence to persons dead or alive is totally incidental. pictures published without permission.

knoddy ちゃん

don't play play

it's exactly a week since i included a counter on this page and at this point of time, 230 have hailed the rat gods... no shit?! here at maisngsiao, and on behalf of the cbk we would like to thank you guys for stopping over.. but do burn some afros while you are here and leave your site address too if you have one.

due to popular demand, some inspiration drawings may be up soon and perhaps i'll start posting more pictures up on this site... don't wanna bore the intellectually challenged too much. therefore it's high time i unleash my sexy, fantabulous casio exslim and start snapping away, hopefully.

till then...

knoddy

encounters of the third kind

two separate disturbing incidents almost ruined my chewren's day. and that's not funny.

first of all in lt 1... the previous lecture had just ended and the class was waiting for the next lecturer to arrive. standard shit. as usual i was just sitting there minding my own business, looking around wondering where this pretty girl was sitting until i heard some music playing... some chinese song. "simi lanjiao!?" i thought immediately. my attention shifted to some idiots a few rows down my seats. this fat (ok prolly wasn't that fat, but fatter than me so well.. that fucker's fat) guy was playing the song 'tuo diao', meaning 'take your clothes off', from his very function enabled phone, at the same time standing up and gyrating and attempting to take off his shirt! now how fucked up is that?! and his donkey friends were happily cheering him on. honestly, i wasn't even pissed. i was bewildered. nonetheless i had the urge to rush down and stick his musically inclined phone up his ass to make it come up through the mouth. by the way i hate that fucking song.

ok nehmind... after doing some work in the library from like 2 to 5.30pm, i went to meet my friend in town. i happily hopped on 179 and proceeded to the upper deck, last row. a few stops down, hordes of people boarded the bus and naturally they came up to the upper deck too. and so a group of ugly girls sat near me, and amongst them, a guy (needless to say, ugly too) sat beside me. they all knew each other la. no big deal i thought. ntu is so full of ugly people anyway. ok this is it... they started chatting and the moment my bus buddy opened his mouth, disaster strikes. this asshole has the most gu-futhamuckin'-niang voice i've ever heard in my entire life. it's like his vocal cords went on a strike during puberty and stopped 'breaking voice' half way. it's not even nice girlish gu niang... it's half-past-six chao ah kua. throughout the torturous journey out of school, i had the misfortune of listening to their shitty 'intellectual' conversation about literature and whatnot, with that ah kua voice buzzing in my frickin' ears. of course i'm not surprised he was with like 4 girls, blending in perfectly into them. jeezus... spare me the 'ya-ya sisterhood' bullshit. and don't even let me get started on the way he laughs, it was fricking evil... and you ccb stepped on my fucking toes without even apologising you cunt! if you are reading this, i so wanna sucker punch the shit outta you.

luckily i've been in a relatively good mood nowsadays... and i managed to get a nice present for my friend's 21st. ^__^

people live to piss me off.

knoddy ちゃん