Sunday, February 27, 2005

maisngsiao lesson no. 3

i had the misfortune of witnessing some toothpaste propaganda endosed by slyvester while channel surfing the other day.

有鬼啊!!

i'm sorry daddy and mummy, i should have listened to you when i was young when you told me not to 'itchy hands' and fiddle with the remote kontrol.

kids... you've been warned.

knoddy

Saturday, February 26, 2005

are you a fucktype?

today's topic shall be.... fucktypes.

unless you're a poly guy or a fugly mofo, you should have enough friends or acquaintances who fall under the below few categories of... fucktypes.

1) the starhub mobile subscriber
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the advent of free incoming calls thanks to starhub spawned this breed of arseholes. typically these people will annouce to the whole world that they've just gotten a new starhub line and will irritably ask everyone to call him/her. how would you know if your friend is this fucktype? well your phone rings, and before you can answer it stops, compelling you to call back. fucking irritating. this kinda fucktype deserve to have their handphone shoved up their ass and made come through the mouth.

2) the full time bf/gf
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how often do you have friends, who are like you know, abangs and sistas claiming "fuck relationships! you guys are the best!" but when these same friends get attached, they totally disappear into thin air? once these people get into a relationship, their life fucking revolve around the other half. they have no time to meet up anymore because they gotta accompany their dearly beloved for the most absurd things.
the few times you actually get to meet them, they are constant-fucking-ly on the phone whispering sweet nothings at one korner, or busy sms-ing. any rare occurences of a conversation initiated by them will almost certainly be about their girlfriend or boyfriend and how great their sex life is.
consider yourself lucky enough if these friends remain contactable after their 'new lease of lovey dovey life'. some fuckers totally migrate to pluto after getting hitched.

3) the friend who fuck care old ties
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if i didn't remember wrongly, the period of time when we were in secondary school right up to jc were the most kick ass. most of the friends you made then are probably everywhere now, mostly in universities in my context. some of them in particular will be so fucking involved in hall and universities events that they simply have no time, or rather prefer not, to catch up on old times.
personally this category of fucktypes disses me off the most. don't they remember the good old raw untamed fun we had? surely there is time for catching up but no! they rather dwell in kan nin na hall/school shit that takes up 25 hours a day, acting important, being 'hall ambassadors', busking under the influence of new found 'kewl' friends, and the bottomline of all they just wanna get laid.
i have absolutely nothing against being part of such undergrad experience, myself being involved before as well. but to the point that you fuck care old ties? no way. sometimes seeing such friends have reduced to just a hi-bye affair since there's no longer a common topic of interest to chat about. as some might put it, these people fucking draw line once they enter university.

4) the quintessential fucker
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this kinda fucker, simply put is the mother of all fuckers. motherfucker. and thus the origin of the mentioned expletive. here at maisngsiao we learn something new everyday.
ok so this fucker encompasses all traits of the fucktypes already mentioned and not only that, they are back stabbers, play out kings, and worst of all, some are the cause of breakups and riffs in relationships. they pretend to be hearing out for a friend, providing advice for those in need but once their back is turned, they spread false rumors and other nasty stuff which i'm incapable of explaining it. i believe these people work for the devil. unfortunately for us, they are not easily identified due to the inexplicable stupidity of mankind. alas... (o__o)


there you have it.. fucktypes. this is actually a long overdue article which i embarked on since the beginning of the year but sad to say, i couldn't think of enough to substantiate the post. anyway the above 4 is just a rough guide. of course this post wouldn't have been successful without the help of certain assholey friends i have made over the million years for inspirations...

... but you know i still love you all the same guys! long live double standards!



"sometimes we say or do things that may seem correct, smart, funny, appropriate at the instance, but we ignore the fact that the very same words/actions may be piercing to someone else."

what a fucked up quote.

knoddy

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

all i can hear is voice from dreams

dreams are wonderful, especially when they give you numbers of any sorts.

so last night i dreamt of some bullshit as usual.. i suspect it's gotta do with watching 'tu ran fa cai' last weekend. in the dream, 4 numbers xxxx* were suddenly thrown to me and i thought.. wah nahbei this is a good sign man! confirm must buy!

and so i woke up, met my girlfriend for lunch at clementi and told her about the dream. we shared and bought $1 and $1 small. weeeee confirm tio liao!

or so we thought...

nin nah bei when i checked the results of the draw upon reaching home, the first three prizes all started with '4' and was nowhere close to what i bought! fuck! and i couldn't see my number on the starters and consolation prizes either! i couldn't believe my eyes... how is it possible that i didn't win?! i mean the chances of winning is so god damn high: 50-50. either i win or i don't.

fucking dream... i'll kill you tonight.

knoddy

*the number was withheld to prevent people reading this site to go buy and thus standing a chance to win subsequent draws. the author feels that since he didn't win, there's no reason why others would, using his godly number. well at least you know it doesn't start with '4'.

Monday, February 21, 2005

tired and i fucking mean it.

it'd been a hectik week.

2 tests came and go. luckily both were easy.. phew.

valentine's/friendship day came and go too. here's wishing everyone a very very belated valentine's and friendship day... and for goodness fucking sake, don't ever take your loved ones for granted...

... group hug!! haha.

oh my previous post promised some cny photos but apparently i can't find any site to host my pictures and then link them here. oh well.. you guys will just have to imagine how the photos look like. what a pity. think along the line of fireworks, alot of dogs, a cock and food.

yes i know i'm not updating as often again... after that mongster of a post about my whole team. well of course i've been busy.. taking over as captain, organising training, booking of pitch, getting the team to come down for training, not to mention catching up on my school work which i've been lagging like fuck, and most important of all... my beloved girlfriend.

will try to write more shit when i'm more free, as usual, in the mean time maybe i'll post up some pictures, maybe some maisngsiao lessons, or some eggciting cockanaden sightings/happenings that's esklusif here in planet ntu.

damn i miss my girlfriend so fucking much i wanna see her every god damn day...

knoddy

Saturday, February 19, 2005

my knoddies lie over the ocean



happy fambly!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

cockster

happy chinese new year to all cheena pockies out there!

i'm god damn back from mat land and i'll update soon... not before i find a way to post up millions of photos and a way to link them from my site though. muahahaha.

fucko.. fun has ended.. maths and thermo tests in the coming week.

lame chinese new year joke thanks to celine..

qn: what do we need to eat during chinese new year and how many of them?

ans: longtong. 7 of them because 'qi ke longtong qiang tong qiang'

o_0'"

knoddy

Sunday, February 06, 2005

happy mappys



presenting... the faces of champions! (machiam.. but what the heck.)

top (left to right): mr yummy (team manager), wenlie, helmi, sam, ban hwee, junhao, weejin, mirza, alex, mr ali (coach), tycho (a holland fella on temp work in ntu. plays hockey as well)

bottom (left to right): derian, syahid, khairul, ghazi, seh hoe (captain), desmond the great (vice-captain), kevin, colin, perry, shiwang.

knoddy

Friday, February 04, 2005

we are the champions my friends

i haven't felt so happy in a while... in a fucking long while man.

so we drew with nus 0-0 but we sure kicked their ass hard. the joy of denying them the medal, thew look on their faces when we were pressuring and tackling them so hard, that they hardly had space to breathe. the pleasure of hearing them fuck each other for their mistakes. woo!

in all cliche fashion, yes we could have won, though nus had their near misses and chances. but as coach said... once the first goal comes, viktory will ensue. oh well... there were at least three times the ball went past the post and a couple of other times where their keeper made good saves. however as the final whistle went off, it felt as though we had won. sure enough if you consider them beating us 5-0 last year and how we showed we wanted revenge this year (not by the scoreline of course).

we are the champions... in third place! oh yeah!!

a not so mini tribute...

the first 11:

shi wang (goal keeper): other than the fact that he talks too much, misses too many trainings and falling sick too often, shiwang is an outstanding keeper la. haha. his vital saves in our last 2 games, which happened to be 2 of our most important games, kept our medal hopes alive. in hockey, to be a good keeper is by no means easy.

helmi (centre back): with this fella as our last man, our defence is like a solid rock wall. his ability to read the opponent's attack so well, constant shouting at the midfielders to cover the angles, tactics to help improve the rest of the team, his hits travelling at 360 miles/hr... now how invaluable is that! don't we all love a raffles mat? aku suka rabak siao! muahaha!

syahid (right back): syahid makes one heck of a defender. why? he's freaking irritating, implying in a positive connotation of course. the way he puts his strikers off, by sticking so close, and timely tackles that totally frustrates the opponents at crucial moments, not to mention sneaky yet accurate passes reaching all the way to our forwards. power la!

perry (left back): i have seen perry play back in jc and without a doubt, he's the most improved player i've come across. he plays every game like there's no tommorrow. both his hands bleed from abrasion after every training/game, with old wounds opening up again. this shows how committed he is to defending, keeping the stick low and of course his diving, yet legal tackles. yesterday he fucking diving tackled the ang moh twice in a row, denying nus in a counter attack. perry vs ang moh. go figure.

seh hoe (stopper): captain! haha his passion for the game is unfathomable. some say he's married to the hockey pitch and stick. hehe but i say this is the kind of passion hard to come by in a team. for all his smses to get us to come for trainings, nagging, screaming to get our attention, solid tackles, never say die attitude, oh man there are just so many more i can list... he does almost everything for the team that the vice captain(myself) can relak one korner! yoooo say ho!!

ghazi (centre half): personally this is the player i respect and admire the most in the team. having only picked up the sport in jc, he got selected for national training in no time. his impeccable tackles gives any opponents nightmares and his fitness and discipline to stay focus is just unbelievable. no matter how tired he is, or when the rest of the team is caught off guard, he will be there to cover and stall time while we recover. noble? indeed. it was indeed wise of the coach to shift ghazi up to centre half position as it would have been a waste not to.

khairul (right half): the way khairul tackles the ball from opponents, it looks as if he's never gonna succeed. haha, on the contrary he gets it done almost 99% of the time, leaving the victim in utter shock and disgust, usually followed by curse words. we believe there's sticky tape at the head of his stick which explains why the ball never fails to get 'stuck' to it. other than his famous and unorthodox tackling of balls, his fitness and kan piahness is indeed commendable too. typical scenario: khai has ball-->if loses the ball-->chase back siao-->unorthodox tackle-->if not, passes and create chances.

desmond (left half): to speak the truth, i was abit disappointed initially when i was taken off the centre half position. however i had faith in what the coach said, in ghazi, and in myself. i tried my best playing in a foreign and tough position. of course mistakes were made but i learnt from them and made sure the next game i would not commit the same ones again. being a vital element in the short corner team gave me added pressure but i regained focus at the most crucial period. thus.. indeed my concentration paid off in the last 2 games, the best 2 games i had in the competition. thinking back, it was really silly of me to feel disappointed! and... i scored 2 goals! i am god damn good.

derian (centre forward): we know we can always count on derian to give his 150% for every game because this is one guy who fucking hates to lose. oh well who likes to right? but derian shows it on the pitch. quick as lightning and skilful, he would often leave defenders trailing behind with his short bursts of sprints towards goal and attempt to score. at half time he would be seen panting the most, trying to catch his breath, a physical proof that he plays his lungs out. let's just ignore the fact that he smokes.

ban hwee (right wing): the most experienced player on the field. he's played for the national team, the sea games and other international competitions i believe. ban hwee is every defender's worst nightmare and his hits are so damn accurate. it's little wonder the coach always wants the ball to be played towards him and attacks initiating from the right side, because of his skills and ability to get past 2,3 players easily. sometimes when he gets the ball, the rest of the team just stands and marvel at him, ending up in a scolding from coach for not supporting him upfront. haha.

junhao (left wing): before i begin on him... junhao is a fucker. ok let's go. he's one of the most experienced players in the team too, having played for national age group before way back in secondary school. although he's ever so injury prone (lightning, getting hit everywhere, sometimes by teammates) and not being able to last the whole game anymore, his reading of the game is still fantastic. he runs into spaces, draws defenders away for our forwards to score and stops the ball from being cleared by the opponents. playing along the same side, both of us often deconflict after certain mistakes on our side of the game and the next match we would play better as a pair.

the reserves:

i think substitutes are very much often under-rated. people's perception of them are like oh they are not good enough to make it to first team blah but i beg to differ. look at chelsea.. why are they on such good form? because the bulk of their second team can easily put up a good fight to other premiership clubs. throughout the long and tiring course of the season where injuries and fatigue are inevitable, reserves play an important role in filling up the voids of the team and i'm glad our reserves are of high calibre and fitness. and more importantly they provide a fresh pair of legs and clear mind when they go in for a player who's tired. this is the edge i believe we had over other teams. therefore kudos to mirza, wenlie, weejin, alex, sam, colin and kevin.

the coach:

it makes a lot of difference when there's a coach and when there's not given the same team of same standard. with mr ali's tactical advices and morale boosters, naturally the team felt confident and stayed focus. with his expertise also we were able to make appropriate changes during half time when things are not looking up or when we need to make adjustments to the team due to other reasons. all in all, we have a good coach and i'm glad he's gonna stay with us for the league.


last but not least for the someone who was there yesterday in the nus crowd but supporting me...


knoddy

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

it's all about the mathematiks

it's do or die tommorrow.

knoddy